Best Friend Breakups

I went through a bad breakup recently-- one with my best friend. We’ve gotten in fights before, but I really think this is the end of it. There’s been plenty of things for me to get angry at her for, but I always tried to remember that I had to push through to keep the friendship going. But it’s just that, I always felt like it was me keeping it going. If she was generally angry, she’d take it out on me. Sometimes it felt like she just wanted to be mad at someone so she’d come up with an excuse to be mad at me. She’d blame for hell knows what and expect me to apologize for something I never did, just to force the friendship to keep going.

Most recently, her and another friend started dating. While her boyfriend was on vacation, she started falling for another guy. Yes, this happens to people semi-often, but she really did handle it terribly. (little back note here, she has major trust issues) Supposedly she’d heard a rumor about said boyfriend while he was gone that he was only dating her to see how far he could get with her. Well I’m really good friends with him, and I can promise you that was not his intention. Ever. So she accused him, and said she can’t date him she’d rather be friends. Actually she said, “we should take a break.” She’s said that in relationships before, and it screwed her over big time. And I warned her.

What bothers me most about this whole situation is that she had essentially dropped current boyfriend for a new guy before anyone could even tell him. So when he was blindsided with a break up, I sympathized with him. But me sympathizing was seen as “choosing sides” in her mind. I wasn’t “choosing sides,” I was clearly stating the issues being presented by both sides-- 99.9% of the issues in the situation were caused by her.

Yet she always finds a way to blame me. Every single thing is my fault. She just finds a reason to be angry and pissed at me. And when she gets pissed, she doesn’t want to talk about it. She gets angry at you, talks about you behind your back, and expects you to know what she’s thinking. Yes, I understand that I was more biased towards my guy friend, but in the end I just want her to be happy with her decisions.

So I hope she’s happy she’s lost her best friend. I know that I have great friends to fall back on, and that I’ll be okay through it all. And I hope she’s happy with her new boyfriend-- the one she thought she was hiding from me for so long. I knew what was going on all along, and I knew she was lying to me. I’d rather lose a lying friend that force keeping a “friendship” going.

♥ Diary of a Teen